Sunday, August 13, 2017

Today's Sermon: Fear is the root of racism

Bethlehem Lutheran Church, Auburn, California
Gospel Text: Matthew 14:22-33

          Let us pray. May the meditations of our hearts and the words of my mouth be acceptable in your sight O God. Amen.
          (Pause)
          Today I invite us into a time of lament and prayerful listening. This morning we need this sacred time and space to really think about why we are here and who we are called to be as faithful people and members of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America – a community rooted in Jesus Christ which proclaims a Gospel of grace, welcome, and justice for all.
          (Pause)
          Our Gospel is about fear, doubt, and faith in the storms of life.
          The storm in our lives that that we need to lament and talk about is racism in the United States.
          What has been taking place in Charlottesville, Virginia regarding protests over removing a Robert Lee statue, a sign of the confederacy, is hard to watch and it’s also hard to understand. I spent hours yesterday praying, lamenting, watching live videos, reading reflections of pastors from all over the country, and hearing my friends of color beg for mercy. Finally, in the evening, I found some words of my own to post on facebook. I wrote:
Been praying, lamenting, writing a sermon, and trying to stay informed about the events in Charlottesville, Virginia. God, have mercy. Enough with the racist, hateful, no good and violent ideas and acts toward people of color. #blacklivesmatter
          What do you think about what I wrote?
          (Pause)
          One of my friends responded:
Sara ALL lives matter... black lives matter want to see me dead... I like the idea of living for a while longer... lol!!
          How would you have responded to my friend, Kari?
          (Pause)
          This is what I said:
Hi Kari, gosh, why do you think this? I have several friends of color and while I won't speak for them, I know them well enough to say that none of them would wish you dead.
I think we are in a great storm and war between races and it's time that institutional racism be abolished. Charlottesville is a big problem that is being fueled by hate that, in my opinion, is rooted by tradition, fear, unwillingness to let go of the past, and ignorance. Its true that everyone has a life and therefore we all matter. But using our white privilege to deflect energy from Black Lives Matters to a statement like All Lives Matter is wrong.
We (white people) have a voice, vote, opportunity, protection...you name it and with some truth...if we work hard enough we can achieve whatever we want. This is called power and privilege.
But this isn't about us because people of color could do the exact same things and work just as hard and our systems will get in their way. So this can't be about all until the least of us has an equal voice.
We could debate a lot of things but it's been statistically proven that people of color's lives haven't mattered enough to us and our majority white leadership to offer and protect their basic rights. It's sad but true.
          (Pause)
          Why am I sharing this? I’m sharing this because I can’t count the number of times I have read, heard, and seen people say things like this. All lives matter. Blue lives matter. We all matter.
          And I wanted to take this opportunity to encourage us not to do that. Let’s not use power and privilege to take away from the voices of Black Lives Matter. Let’s instead say that Black Lives Matter and stand behind our words.
          We may also be asking ourselves and wondering today: Where is Jesus in Charlottesville, Virginia?
          (Pause)
          And before we jump to saying something like “Jesus is with the people” or “Jesus is everywhere,” let us stop and pause and think. What would Jesus be doing in Charlottesville?
          The answer to “Where is Jesus in Charlottesville” is clear.
          Jesus is with our black sisters and brothers in Christ, who are on the receiving end of racist hatred and violence. Jesus is with the clergy and others who are showing up in counter protest, offering a presence of peace and hope to those who are being hurt. And Jesus is calling the haters to stop and repent.
          In my opinion, we don’t name sin a lot in our culture and church today. We’re often content to talk about shortcomings and quick to offer or receive grace.
          In times like Charlottesville, we need to talk about the evil sin of racism. We need to talk about our sin of racism because this is an anchor that is causing us to drown, but we’re afraid that if we talk about it, we will lose any number of things like friends, family, power, patience – even our lives. Racism is an evil that has worked its way into the visible and invisible parts of our lives. And it’s killing our people of color. Just like Jesus preached that we are to love our neighbors like God loves us, Jesus is preaching today and calling us to listen with our hearts and to use our voices to advocate for human rights.
          (Pause)
          I am aware that Bethlehem has grown a lot over the years and you are a bold witness to what it means to be a community that is welcoming to all. You called Pastor Ron Valadez – a person of color – to be your pastor. This is good. And it’s a witness to our church and world of equality, justice, and welcome. And it’s also all the more reason why we need to be aware that the sin of racism is still active in our world because we need to think about and consider how people like Pastor Ron, hear and are responding to the events taking place in Charlottesville, Virginia.
          I encourage you to pray for your pastor, the people of color you know, and all people of color throughout the world. For those of us who are white, we can’t know the realities of what life is like for our friends of color. And yet, we are human. And we know what it feels like to be loved and to be rejected. And dear God, I pray that as soon as possible, loves overcomes hate, once and for all.
          Jesus was a Middle Eastern, poor, carpenter, who was crucified by a wealthy empire. God sacrificed Jesus so that all of us can know and receive the equal gift of forgiveness and grace. I also believe God wanted all people to have an opportunity to live a meaningful and healthy life.
          It’s been eight months since I returned from the Holy Land and the events happening in Charlottesville took me back to that place, remembering the Via Dolorosa – Jesus’ walk to the cross. Why do we keep reliving this?
          Our broken world is stuck in a cycle of power and fear. And the only way out is to release our power, feel our fear, and let Jesus lead us into a new life of awareness, grace, and action. God’s got the whole world in God’s hands. God also is praying that we will use our hands, minds, hearts, voices – and courage – to speak up and take action for justice. Innocent people are dying and discriminated against every single day.
          Some good news is that we are part of the ELCA, a body of Lutheran Christians. Together – all of us – 10,000 congregations with 4 million members – together we can make a difference in sharing God’s love and ending racism.
          What can we do to help end racism and proclaim that Black Lives Matter?
          We can do five things right now. We can:
1.     Pray
2.     Become educated
3.     Get involved with an advocacy group
4.     Call out acts of racism as they occur
5.     Honor all people and our diversity
          Friends in Christ, this is a time when we need to be bold. We need to step up to the plate, have courage to step out of our comfort zones, and be Jesus’ disciples in the world. Jesus already died on the cross and so we are the ones that God is counting on to lift up our beloved people of color and to do what we can to end racism.
          The cost of discipleship is high. This work requires change, overcoming fear, and having an open heart to experience God’s amazing grace. It’s not going to be easy, but nobody ever said being a Christian would be easy.
          I invite you to join me now in taking a stand against racism. Would you please stand as you are able, bow your heads, and join me in a lament for our people of color and against the evils of racism?
          When we are finished, we will have a moment of silence and then continue with our hymn of the day, When Peace like a River.


A litany for predominantly white spaces, against white supremacy
Litany against white supremacy, written by Revs. Elizabeth Rawlings and Jennifer Chrien

Gracious and loving God,
                We, as a church, must respond to the white supremacy in our nation. Here is one attempt at a litany             to address it. Change it, do with it what you will, just please do something.   

In the beginning, you created humanity and declared us very good
We were made in Africa, came out of Egypt.
Our beginnings, all of our beginnings, are rooted in dark skin.
We are all siblings. We are all related.
We are all your children.

We are all siblings, we are all related, we are all your children.

Violence entered creation through Cain and Abel.
Born of jealousy, rooted in fear of scarcity,
Brother turned against brother
The soil soaked with blood, Cain asked, “Am I my brother’s keeper?

We are all siblings, we are all related, we are our brothers keeper.

When your people cried out in slavery,
You heard them. You did not ignore their suffering.
You raised up leaders who would speak truth to power
And lead your people into freedom.
Let us hear your voice; grant us the courage to answer your call.
Guide us towards justice and freedom for all people.

We are all siblings, we are all related, we all deserve to be free.

Through the prophets you told us the worship you want is for us  
  to loose the bonds of injustice,
   to undo the thongs of the yoke,
to let the oppressed go free,
   and to break every yoke;
Yet we continue to serve our own interest,
To oppress our workers, to crush our siblings by the neck because we are afraid.
Because they don’t look like us, act like us, talk like us.
Yet, they are us. And we are them.

We are all siblings, we are all related, we are not free unless all are free.

In great love you sent to us Jesus, your Son,
Born in poverty, living under the rule of a foreign empire,
Brown-skinned, dark-haired, middle-Eastern.
They called him Yeshua, your Son,
Who welcomed the unwelcome, accepted the unacceptable—
The foreigners, the radicals, the illiterate, the poor,
The agents of empire and the ones who sought to overthrow it,
The men and women who were deemed unclean because of their maladies.

We are all siblings, we are all related, we are all disciples.

The faith of Christ spread from region to region, culture to culture.
You delight in the many voices, many languages, raised to you.
You teach us that in Christ, “There is no Jew or Greek, there is no slave or free, there is no male and female.”
In Christ, we are all one.
Not in spite of our differences, but in them.
Black, brown, and white; female, non-binary, and male; citizen and immigrant,
In Christ we are all one.

We are all siblings, we are all related, we are all one in Christ.

Each week, we confess our sin to you and to one another.
We know that we are in bondage to sin and cannot free ourselves.
We are captive to the sin of white supremacy,
Which values some lives more than others,
Which believes some skin tones are more perfect than others,
Which commits violence against those who are different.
We confess our complicity in this sin.
We humbly repent.
We ask for the strength to face our sin, to dismantle it, and to be made anew
We trust in your compassion and rely on your mercy
Praying that you will give us your wisdom and guide us in your way of peace,
That you will renew us as you renew all of creation
In accordance with your will.

We ask this, we pray this, as your children, all siblings, all related, all beloved children of God.

Amen.

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Recipe: Homemade Vitality Bowl

There is a Vitality Bowls cafe a few miles from my house. I LOVE them! 

Today, I decided to make my own and save the $12-15 they charge per bowl.

These are perfect for post workout, breakfast, or if you are like me and cutting refined sugar. In the case of the latter - this is a great phase 1 meal or snack. It's full of vitamins and nutrients so the carbs and sugar won't be nearly as tough to burn as that ice cream cone or slice of chocolate cake!

Recipe - add to blender in this order:
1 cup non-fat plain greek yogurt 
1 tbsp natural, crunchy peanut butter
4 whole frozen strawberries
2 handfuls of frozen kale and spinach
1/2 tbsp chia seeds
2 tbsp unsweetened almond coconut milk

If using a Vitamix, use the "frozen dessert" setting. Blend until desired consistency. I like it blended but still thick. Use your tamper to push everything down into the blade.

Use a spatula to move your creation into a bowl. Place in freezer for 3-5 minutes.

Add toppings - today I used:
1 small banana
1/8 cup Seven Sundays Vanilla Cherry Pecan Muesli
1/4 cup mango
Drizzle of agave syrup

Nutritional information:

Saturday, September 17, 2016

Every race has a story

This time last Saturday I was eating pancakes, toasting mimosas, and celebrating with my running buddies after finishing the Brewers Mini Marathon in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

Finally inspired to start my search for a medal holder, I came across one that says "Every race has a story" and it got me thinking about how to tell you my story of this race.

The weather was great. God's water (i.e. rain) showered us at times and it stayed overcast with temps right around 70 degrees. I remember being a little nervous until I found Jeremy, my friend and coach, in our corral. We created a moment for a photo and then we ran. My pace was good for the first 1/3 or so of the race I would say. I had to slow down at times for cramping calves, sore glutes, and my ailing adductor.

This race was about having fun, listening to my body, and finding my motivation to train and discerning life purpose.

What I learned is that racing is a lot more fun with company. I can let go of my competitive nature. And it's possible to pick up and play with my three year old, fifty pound nephew after running 13.1 miles.

I found my strong.

I found my reason to move and to be and to live with purpose.

And today I am grateful for this experience, not giving up, and that this race story leads to future adventures. On Tuesday, Soul2Sole circuit training starts again at PLTS. I'm running a 5K at Cal Lutheran the end of October. I'm making plans for hiking up Half Dome in Yosemite next summer.

And after years of wondering and wanting and waiting and weight loss yo-yo, I scheduled a consult with a surgeon to find out if and when I will be a candidate for body lift surgery to take off my extra skin folds. I have some more pounds I want to lose (again), but I need to find out for myself if they can come off, whether it's next year or a few years from now. The skinfolds make movement more challenging, cause infections and irritation, make clothes shopping a drag, put extra pressure on my joints and back, and are an unhelpful reminder of what once was my morbidly obese life. I'm excited and nervous about this and welcome your positive vibes and prayers.

Cheers to the next adventure!

Friday, September 9, 2016

Brewers Mini Marathon: Pre race edition

Twas' the day before the Brewers Mini Marathon and here's how my day went.

Woke up, made breakfast, yoga, foam rolling, and then out the door.

First stop: The WAC, also known as the Wisconsin Athletic Club. I arrived just before 11 am and walked in, took in the familiar sights, sounds, and smells of this gym I first walked into with my cousin, Andrea back in 2010. I found a place to sit and soon Jeremy found me. I was very happy to see him and yet I could hardly speak. He handed me the real, live version of our poster. Then he ran off to do one more thing before the rest of our adventure was to begin. I sat in the very same seat I sat in six years ago and unrolled the giant poster with our photos on it and read my own story. A few people stopped by to say "hi" and "awesome story". It was pretty surreal. I rolled it back up and just sat there.

I wondered, "Who am I am what am I doing here?" A little later, I got back to my car and as I drove to my favorite coffee shop, Colectivo, I just started crying. The memories and the emotions of my fitness journey and the tears flooded me. It was a complete surprise to have this shock wave of emotion wash over my soul. As I sipped my iced almond milk cafe au lait, I sat with my feelings and realized that I was feeling this way because the story I wrote is my authentic self.. I did this. And I found my life. And now my coach, my teacher, my personal trainer, one of my very best friends is going to hang out with me all afternoon, go on a boat cruise, get up before dawn tomorrow to run 13.1 miles (quite likely in the rain), and celebrate with me afterwards. Thankfully, I didn't cry all day. I did forget the two pounds of coffee beans I bought and messed up my polish after a pre-race ritual pedicure, and probably said a few things that maybe didn't all make sense. It's ok. I'm thankful I can feel and roll with the waves of gratitude, growth, and life that rocked me all day long.

This evening I am finally relaxed. The pain I felt for more than six weeks in my right leg is now completely gone. A sign of what it means to come home? Perhaps the painful sports massage on Sunday did the trick? Perhaps I stopped doubting my ability to cover the distance tomorrow? I think it's all of these things and I chose to be present for this entire experience.

It is also a huge gift, honor, and privilege to spend this kind of time with one's teacher. Before we got on the boat today, I felt my heart whisper to my mind - let go and 
enjoy this. So tomorrow we're running a fun run. If you would have asked me six years ago where I thought I would be today...

This, this is much better than anything I could have imagined.

Glory be to God and Namaste.

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Sidelined!

Yesterday morning, my alarm buzzed at 5 am and I  finally rolled out of bed just after 6 am. Before walking out the door, I made sure I fueled - two eggs, 1/2 cup rolled oats with 1 tbsp crunchy, unsalted peanut butter, and 1 cup of coffee. It was speed work day - one of my favorites!

I wasn't all that chipper heading to the gym. I was tired. My body ached. The day before I had done a one hour spin (indoor cycling) class that was full of hard hills in the morning. That same evening, I lifted weights. When lifting, I go heavy. Yes, I do twelve reps at 135 pounds for my deadlift. My philosophy when it comes to fitness is go big or go home.

Tuesday morning - I had to stick to my plan! I'm training for a half-marathon and so excited to run with my friend for 13.1 miles. Race training requires commitment. I didn't give myself the option to change or cancel a workout.

I considered my 15 minute walk to 24 Hour Fitness my warm up, which was a little shortcut as I typically walk, then foam roll, do some leg exercises, and then run.  After I logged in, I hopped on the treadmill, walked a little more and then started my intervals. Mile one was easy enough. We were doing 1/10 mile "on" and 1/10 mile "off". Off was a decent walking pace and on started at an 11:30 pace and every other interval I bumped it so by the time I got to mile two I was running 1/10 of mile at an 8:34 pace. I maintained that for all of mile two, until I really challenged myself to run the last interval at an 8:00  pace. That's pretty fast for me.

With about three intervals to go, I felt a twinge. I paused and thought - this is weird. It didn't hurt "that bad" so I kept going and finished my workout.

All day, my leg hurt and neither ice nor ibuprofen really took the edge off. Instead of sleeping it off and relying on web searches for information that just instill more anxiety, I went to the doctor.

And yep, strained adductor muscle. No running until it heals. More ice and ibuprofen. Could be a few days or a few weeks until it heals.

I am frustrated. I'd like to go jog my four miles in the morning. But I won't try and risk a longer recovery. I appreciate my body and I also respect the advice of my doctor and coach.

To my surprise, my drive to train is higher than ever. Maybe it's because my ability to run has been temporarily taken away and I can no longer take it for granted. Maybe it's because I am finally unstuck in life and see myself living forward.

Being sidelined is not what I had planned for my week. Even as I spend extra time on the couch with an ice pack under my leg, I can't help but give thanks for the gift of drive and determination. I doubt God will make sure I can run my race, but I am certain God has my back and is right here on the couch next to me, ready to run when my body heals.

What's been your experience with being sidelined?

Sunday, July 17, 2016

Blog Resurrection!

Why restart now?

You are important and dreams never die.

This blog is part of my dream and call in life to build community through faith, fitness, and fundraising. As for the inspiration behind Soul2Sole:

My journey to become fit is about holistic well-being. On June 21, 2010 I made a bold decision to join the Wisconsin Athletic Club (WAC) in Wauwatosa, WI for the summer while completing a chaplaincy internship for my Master of Divinity program. The truth is it took some encouragement from my cousin (thanks Andrea!) to walk in and take a tour. I weighed 300 pounds at the age of 27 and decided it would be "nice" to lose 100 pounds. I met my coach, Jeremy who has become my friend, running buddy, and mentor. Twelve months of weight lifting, learning how to eat, and wanting a new way of life really badly - I achieved my goal!

I wasn't satisfied. While on a yearlong internship in Arizona, my project at Desert Cross Lutheran Church became the first version of Soul2Sole. My goal was simply to bring fitness into church. We walked, ran, and tried yoga, zumba, and circuit training. The finale was a summer olympics party complete with games and an 11 mile relay between two church sites.

Then it was back to Berkeley for one more year of school! I joined UC Berkeley's triathlon club. I completed the Big Sur Marathon - yes, all 26.2 hilly miles in under six hours! The following year, I completed the Stanford sprint triathlon - swimming 500m in the San Francisco Bay, biking 12 miles, and running 3.1 miles.

Then I took a break. I trained on and off, did a few 10Ks and half marathons for "fun," but basically lost my momentum. My body was tired. My mind was bored. And eventually my heart broke when my mom died on November 1, 2014.

On May 6, 2016 I decided it was time to start living more boldly again, and start training, for real, again. Ten weeks of consistent meditation, working out, eating right, and registering for another half-marathon, and I feel like my old/new self again. Look for a blog about old/new self, soon.

Now that I've convinced myself that I'm in this for the long haul, I'm inviting you all to join me. 

For those who followed my blog the first time, you might notice some changes. This time, I'm broadening Soul2Sole beyond transformational weight loss. There will be plenty about the ups and downs of trying to lose 70 pounds again (gulp!) after having lost a total of 150 pounds from June 2010 - August 2012. The real reason for Soul2Sole is to build community and share resources. That means, your story is just as important as mine. And we are all in this together. Also, you can look forward to a variety of content like recipes, sermons, workouts, gardening photos, inspirational quotes, and maybe a Bible study, or videos in the future.

Let me know if you have ideas for blog posts. I like questions:)

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Staying Motivated!



It’s February – Staying Motivated

When it comes to sticking to that exercise program, eating plan, or goal to drink 8 glasses of water a day, sometimes we just really have a hard time doing it.  Here are some things I have learned that help me stay on track and get back on track (yes, I fall off the bandwagon, too!) when sleeping in begins to sound much better than hitting the gym before class and pizza tastes better than organic chicken with veggies and a sweet potato.

1.  Take a Day Off…from Everything!
Yep, I just suggested that you do less instead of more.  Use the hours to rest, recharge, and plan to start again fresh.  This is a great time to figure out your hectic schedule, penning in time for prayer and exercise, go grocery shopping, have some fun cooking a meal or two for the week, and write down or upload workouts and music to your phone or iPod.  Having a day or even a few hours to catch your breath and get ready for a new week will help you focus on your goals.  With a goal and the tools to succeed, you’ll be motivated to keep moving! 

2.  Pray, Read, Write, and Dream
Motivation can come from a lot of different places.  Inviting God into your day and asking for divine support and inspiration is a great place to start.  Reading the Bible, some stories in a fitness or health magazine, a good book, or checking out a website like ESPN.com with articles about athletes who live like you dream about are wonderful places to go for inspiration.  Journaling is also really helpful – writing down what you eat, keeping track of your exercise, and noting how you feel will give you a sense of accomplishment and will provide future motivation when you can look back and see your progress.  Finally, dream about a reward!  Especially if you are working on quantitative, tangible goals – rewards will motivate you to keep going.  Keep them realistic, but make them worthwhile and special too! 

3.  Share Your Story
We want to hear the awesome ways in which you’re living a healthy life…and so do your friends!  Social media, texting, email, and simply picking up the phone are all great ways to reach out.  If you’re having a great day – share it.  You never know who will hear, read, or see your message and in turn be motivated to go on that run, save Happy Hour for a special occasion, or learn to cook something new.  If you’re having a challenging day – ask for support.  Personal trainers are a great professional resource.  A good one will do more than teach you how to lift weights, run faster, swim further, or do yoga – they’ll encourage you to keep going and hold you accountable to your goals.  Of course, talk to your friends!  Maybe they’d like to go on an evening walk with the dogs too.  And please email me anytime, I’d love to hear your story and encourage you as much as I can!